Dear Loneliness, I surrender to you,
After years of pushing you down, pretending like you don’t exist, resisting you, running from you, hiding from you, cutting you off, denying you, covering you up from the world, I am finally letting go of my efforts. My efforts have proven to be pointless, and have only created pain and suffering for me. They haven’t done shit. Because after all of this time, you’re still here.
And from this angle, you actually don’t look all that bad. You’re sort of cute and sweet. I know I have a lot to learn from you. I know that this is just the beginning of a new relationship for you and I. I invite you to the table, to sit with us, the other emotions, the other parts of me. I am too tired to keep pulling the chair out from under you.
I know intuitively that you are meant to be felt, to move through me, to accompany me on my journey of life. I know that you are not as scary as you seem. I know that you are in every one. Not just me.
Already after allowing you to be here, after taking you on a walk around my block, and naming you, I feel more integrated, more whole. And it feels good to air you out. Because I just can’t deny it any longer, you are here, inside of me. I feel you in my bones, my fibers, my heart. And that’s the truth. And it’s ok.
I will carry you wherever I go, not as a burden but as a dear innocent child, holding you with tenderness. I don’t have to shield you any longer fearing that people will not love and accept you. Because I love and accept you. You are an aspect of me, a part of my experience.
No more resistance. I welcome you with open arms and my open heart. I will listen to you. I will listen to your stories of rejection, of pain. I will honor your experience. I will show you that you are not alone. I am here now.
